In the trailer for Hitman they never show Timothy Olyphant’s face, only because once you do he looks nothing like his popular video game counterpart. Olyphant, as Agent 47, does what he can with the role, but his face is so smooth and glossed over it’s difficult for me to buy him as one of the baddest hitmen around. He looks more like a boyscout trying to tie a knot, or a puppy dog who gets angry when you take away his food. He’s not bad as Agent 47 by any means, there just isn’t a believable killer in his eyes, only a movie actor intensely holding a gun.

The movie tries to be an operatic action fest, but doesn’t quite live up to it’s own expectations. The religious aspect promised in the trailer is all but forgotten about in the movie which means that we’re subjugated to a series of action scenes with no strings attached. Agent 47 is set up by the person who hired him to kill a potential Russian president. Amazingly the potential president is seen making a public appearance a few days later on national television, with a bandage over his head where the bullet went in. But as Mike Whittier the Interpol officer played by Dougray Scott proclaims, “Our man never misses”. With Whittier, hot on his tale now other hitmen are out to kill him! Why? They pour out of the woodwork! How! And can hide swords safely down their pants legs! Ouch! In the process Agent 47 ends up dragging a sexy piece of work along with him, whose long legs, thick accent and ample breast shots are a fanboy’s wet dream.

And that’s who this film was made for, fanboys. Even though the twists and turns make sense, whether plausible or not, that isn’t the point. The point is we truly don’t care one way or the other if Agent 47 figures out what has happened. The film gives us no reason to. The man has no morals, no point of view. The character is a drone, a drone and we don’t know why or to what or for what – the money doesn’t even seem to matter to him. The villain is just as much of an enigma, sure we understand what he’s done, but never find out why and for what gain. I guess it as something political…? None of these characters have goals, none of them want anything, and when that’s the case, we don’t want them to get anything. It’s light fun, but hardly memorable. The action scenes hold no weight within the story, stuff just happens and people are punched. In fact the only memorable scene is between Agent 47 and the Russian hottie as she comes on to him, perhaps in his own way Agent 47 shows us a moment of humanity and earned from this viewer an honest to goodness out-loud laugh.

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